Totally3rdGrade's Deleted Scenes
by Totally3rdGrade
Summary: Some sweet forgotten moments not mentioned in My Love and How I Live Now. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

MY LOVE

A RANDOM DELETED SCENE: Alex's Baking Skills

"Evelyn, I think it's time you know my secret." Alex said seriously to his beautiful girlfriend. Evelyn looked up from her math homework in surprise. They were currently "Studying" for the next Trig test, lets just say that this study session didn't help Evelyn's math skills…at all. "Your special talent?" she asked in confusion, Alex nodded smiling. " I like to bake." he confessed. Evelyn giggled. "What?" Alex asked raising his eyebrows, "Is there something wrong with that?" Evelyn just giggled but seeing the serious look on her Love's face she stopped immediately. "Of coarse not, it just sounded funny in that context" She let out a little giggle. " No, I'm not kidding, I like to bake." he said striding over to his mother's refrigerator and pulling out flour, eggs, and milk, he said proudly "My mom says that I'm a pretty good baker too!" "I'll be okay with it only if I can lick the bowl." Evelyn said going back to her math problems. "Deal." Alex said softly. He continued with his batter making, he had finished all of his homework, and when he finished slopping all of the batter in to organized rows on the cookie sheet he handed Evelyn the spoon.

The thick concoction on the large spoon was the color of sand, Evelyn wrinkled her nose. "Are you sure you didn't accidentally throw up in this?" she joked, her boyfriend looked slightly offended. "I was kidding!" she said taking his hand and pulling him down to her level so she could kiss his lips. Alex smiled, "try the batter." he urged, she obeyed and licked at all off the spoon at once. The dough wouldn't go down her throat, it was like cement. Evelyn felt her cheeks redden and with a lot of effort she swallowed the sticky "Batter". It tasted too salty. "Well?" Alex asked excitedly. "I love it!" Evelyn said lamely, picturing a deflating balloon as she said this. Then came the after taste, it was worse than the batter itself. "Just wait until you taste the actual cookie!" Alex said kissing her cheek. "Great!" Evelyn said a little sarcastically but she smiled when her boyfriend kissed her forehead. When the timer sounded in the silent kitchen Evelyn's insides seemed to groan in disgust. "Aha! They are finished. Here try one, oh, be careful don't burn your mouth!" Alex was always worried about her, she smiled a little. She took a bite, it was still sticky inside and more salty than the batter, she felt her eyes tear up. "Honey? Are you crying?" Alex asked grabbing the chair next to her and sitting down. "Tears of joy!' Evelyn said through a mouth full of the awful cooking. "Why don't you have one?" Evelyn asked, Alex shook his head, "nah, you can take them home if you like." Evelyn put down her cookie, "No, that's okay, Hun, I think you should save some for your Mom! Or even better why don't you give some to Mr. Morison tommorw?" Alex smiled. "Good idea!" Evelyn laughed nervously, maybe the their math teacher will have a surprise heart attack from all of that salt and die, yes, that would be good.


	2. Chapter 2

MY LOVE

DELETED SCENE # 2: The Easter holidays

(This takes place a couple of weeks before Alex enters the hospital)

I knocked on Alex's front door shivering all over. You would think that the snow would have melted by now, I shook my head and urged somebody to open the door. Finally Anna answered. "Oh, Evelyn, what a surprise!" she laughed, I smiled, "I guess your pretty sick of me, huh?" I asked as she led me in. She shook her head vigorously, "Never, your little miss sunshine around here!" she laughed. "Honestly, if it wasn't for you I don't know how I would keep it together." she whispered nodding her head to the kitchen where I supposed where Alex was. I nodded sadly, "Well, come in, and Happy Easter!" I smiled a little, "Happy Easter to you too." I said. "Alex is in the kitchen," she said, "okay." she took my black trench coat and hung it in the closet. "But if you excuse me I need to order a few books for the library, a couple of kids lost our only copy of Sense and Sensibility." I smiled again. Anna walked off the stairs and I walked into the kitchen, my heels clanking on the black and white tiled floor. Alex was sitting in one of the mixed matched kitchen chairs with a deck of cards in his shaking hands, I smiled, "Why hello there. he said smiling gently up at me. I giggled and walked around the table into his lap. "Hello," I said as though I've never met him in my life, "how are you today I'm glad that your awake." I smiled and he kissed my forehead and looked away, "I didn't feel like wasting another day." he murmured, I nodded and rested my head against his pale neck. "I have a surprise for you!" I said excitedly remembering what I had for him in the car. He looked down at me, "You surprise me everyday." I rolled my eyes, " it's bigger than my deranged personality." He smiled tiredly.

"Would you like to wait here? Or come with me?" I optioned. He hated when people assumed that he couldn't do things anymore, it was often a mistake Mrs. Thomas made. I stood and he looked up at me his grey eyes were twinkling but they also looked a little sad. "I'll, I'll stay, things will go faster and we can get straight to the surprise." he said, I nodded and looked away for a minute so he wouldn't see the unmistakable pain in my eyes. "I'll be back!" I said loudly, he laughed a little, when he laughed his whole face lightened and the bags under his eyes looked less noticeable, I loved his laugh. I ran out to the car and collected the big basket I made up for him, I didn't make the basket I just put things init. I burned a couple of Cds and I bought bags and bags of candy with my saved up money. I also put fake plastic eggs in there, some with the candy in them the other with little love notes. I left the door open so Alex didn't have to get up from his seat and open it, The basket was heavy. As I entered the threshold I tripped on the rug and fell at the foot of the stairs so you could see me on the ground from the kitchen, my face reddened in embarrassment. "Hi, Honey." I said from the floor, Alex rose from his seat slowly while I scrambled on the ground to find the basket. "Oh, Dear." Alex said as he walked into the hall, he smiled down at me when he saw the candy, Easter eggs, and broken CD cases on the floor. "Happy Easter!" I said sadly, He laughed, a lot. Alex lowered himself to the floor next to me with his hand on his lower back as though it hurt. "Happy Easter," he said kissing the top of my head

**In honor of The Easter holidays I thought I would write something for Easter, lol**


	3. Chapter 3

**MY LOVE**

**DELETED SCENE #3: Black Coffee and Vampire Haters**

**(This chapter is way before the Easter ! This is when Alex isn't as sick as he was in that one)**

I wrapped my striped scarf tightly around my neck and my teeth clattered. I knocked on Alex's door with a gloved hand in the tune of the Twilight Zone, Alex chuckled when he answered the door with a cup of coffee in both hands. "Good morning." he greeted me, I rose on my tip toes for a long kiss on the lips. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a black thermal, and a black trench coat with a driver's cap that looked adorable on him. "I like your hat today." I said taking it from his head a putting it on top of my own winter cap, he chuckled, "yeah, I got it on sale at the thrift store." I smiled, he seemed excited about his find, I giggled, it looked so cute on him even I was excited about it. "It's awesome!" I commented placing the hat back on his head. He took my gloved hands in his own slightly trembling open fingered gloved ones. He was so warm, I smiled, "You ready to go?" I asked nodding my head to the car. He nodded and led me by hand over to my car but I stopped. "Wait, did you eat breakfast this morning?" Alex stopped and turned his head to face me. "I'm not hungry." he told me softly, but I shook my head, "please, eat just a little bit of something, a piece of toast?" I gazed up at him with glossy puppy dog eyes, his expression softened. "I don't know if I can keep it down." he confessed. He looked a little impatient but his eyes were more helpless than angry. "That's what ginger ale is for, dear." I said sounding like Esme. I pulled him to the front door, "come on, pretty face, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" Alex sighed tiredly, I think he realized when I gave him my famous innocent look he knew that I'd won the argument.

I took the mug from him and led him back inside. When I looked down at the coffee I realized that it was plain. "I think you forgot to put cream in this." I commented when Alex sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. "No, I didn't." I raised an eyebrow and gave back his hot beverage. "Black coffee?" Alex chuckled and took a sip, "to match my soul." he joked. I stuck my out my tongue, "what will it be?" I asked leaning against one counter. "Coffee." Alex answered shortly with a smile. I frowned, "Your too skinny, you need food." I said sitting him his lap. "I'd prefer you don't see me spill my guts out into the toilet thank you very much, it's a wonder I even keep this stuff down." he indicated his mug, I wrinkled my nose, "That's disgusting." I said looking down into the mug. "Can I try it?" Alex laughed, "I thought you didn't like coffee black." I shook my head, "I don't know." Alex handed the mug to me and I took a long sip, I spit it out as soon as it all was in my mouth. "Aw, God, this is awful." I said grabbing a wet paper towel and wiping up the mess. Alex was laughing hysterically, "I'm…sorry." he gasped his hand over his chest. "But, you should have seen your face." he broke into another fit. I went over to him and rubbed his back a little, "breathe!" I commanded, he looked up at me and smiled a bit. "Come on, Crazy, we're going to be late." He was trying to get out of the breakfast, no dice. " Alex, Honey, we're always late. Plus, you haven't eaten anything yet." he frowned, "I'll have a granola bar." he said quietly, "but I shouldn't eat it in the car just in case." I nodded and grabbed one from the box next to the microwave.

Alex took miniscule bites and stopped every few chews. "Are you okay?" I asked taking his still gloved hand, he nodded slowly. I rubbed circles in the back of his hand while he finished, Alex started to get up right after he was done but I put a hand on his shoulder. "Sit for a minute, you might feel nauseas, just to be safe." he smiled and gave me multiple kisses on my neck, it tickled and I giggled, "I love you." I said catching the thick hair that had fallen into my face and pulling it behind my ear. "I love you too." I squeezed his hand for a moment. "Come on, I think I'm good." I nodded and we got up and walked out to the car hand in hand. When I pulled into the school parking lot there was nobody to be found, everyone was in class. I smiled, we had missed two periods. "who do you have 3rd period?" Alex asked taking out his agenda from his backpack. "Harding." I answered, he nodded, "I have Mrs. Denty." I sighed, "aw, I like her, I think I missed her class, though." Alex chuckled softly. Alex and I had out lockers near each other, he wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked slowly to the locker halls. As we entered the bell rang and Forks high school's hall were lively again. When we reached my locker Alex waited until I was finished getting my books. "Honestly, this kid, like, drinks blood and kills people and stuff." I turned in panic to see a short kid whose name I think was Zack and another kid named Phil. I shook my head and turned away, Alex heard them too. "What kid is it?" Phil asked excited about the new gossip. "That Ian Cullen guy, the whole family is a bunch of freaks." I looked down at my feet to hide the blush that was creeping to my cheeks.

"His sister is worse, stupid emo kids, they should all be arrested or something." Alex hugged me and rubbed my back. "That whole Cullen family should go to hell or something, there is so many bad rumors about them. Only the doctor and his wife are normal." Oh, no, I could feel the moisture in my eyes. Alex let go of me and turned around towards the boys. "Hey!" he called to them. "They turned and raised their eyebrows. "Don't you dare talk about Evelyn, or her family like that!" Alex snarled, I looked over at him shocked. "Spread stupid rumors about me, instead of them. What the hell do you care anyways? You just treat anyone whose different or slightly odd to you like crap. You two have no class it's disgusting." Alex said threw clenched teeth. I wiped the tears away from my face quickly and smiled at him when the kids walked away. "Thank you." I whispered hugging his waist, Alex kissed the top of my head. "Nobody's going to bully you while I'm around." He said looking back at the kids. His face looked so serious, I supposed he must have always been that way before he met me. We stayed like that until the hall way empty, "I think we should get to class now." I said taking the Kleenex Alex handed to me from his back pocket and blowing my nose. "I love you, see you in Biology!" I said when we had to go our separate ways, Alex kissed my mouth and forehead one last time and left for Science class.

**Ha-Ha I was reading this over and if nobody knew that he had cancer it would sound like he's anorexic or something, I like it like that, though, call me weird. J**


	4. Chapter 4

MY LOVE

DELETED SCENE: Baby Girl

Alex and I sat on the front porch of my house in silence, my whole family was out, it was just us. I laid my head on his shoulder and he reached a hand up and stroked my hair shakily. I sighed, "Remember that game we played on out first date?" Alex asked breaking the long silence between us. I looked up at him and smiled, "I totally forgot about that!" I said sitting up a bit. "Why don't we reassume our game?" he asked laughing at my surprised expression. I nodded, "okay, you can go first." I said, his forehead relaxed but the worry lines stayed I ran my fingers over them a little, Alex smiled and kissed my palm, "I hate those," he said softly, I shook my head, "it's sexy." I said aloud, "yeah, it's real sexy that I have wrinkles already," I kisses his cheek, "did you think of a question yet?" He nodded, "If you could do anything you wanted for a day, what would it be?" He asked, "hmm" I said thinking hard. "Well, I would want to spend it with you, and we could go to an empty beach and have a picnic and swim and lay with each other in the sun with the sound of the waves crashing in the background." Alex smiled and brought me closer to his side and kissed my forehead. "Maybe we could make that happen." he whispered, I sighed, just thinking of it made my stomach tumble over in content. "Your turn, Dear." he said, I nodded, "If we were to have children," I stopped for a minute to see his reaction, he just smiled and gave me an encouraging look, "would you want the baby to be a boy, or a girl?" He pondered this for a moment. "I would want a little girl." he said thoughtfully, I smiled, "Really?" I asked laughing a little, "Most men would want a boy," Alex shook his head, "I would want a girl." I said, he sound certain. "A little girl." I repeated, "A little girl," he said kissing me again.

(**Okay, this one is kind of sad, lol)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! I just want to say sorry for the delay with the AU of Evelyn's life and her children, I have a little case of writer's block with that story, lol. I feel like writing a little drama today and I had an idea during math class while I was preparing for my final, I know I should have been listening to my teacher instead of thinking about deleted scenes from "My Love." So, here you are, please review if you like it, this has nothing to do with the Alternate Universe story! It's also set around the time Alex get's really sick. Just another random scene. Happy Reading!**

**My Love Deleted Scene: John's Apologies**

I sat solemnly on one of the benches near Alex's house. I couldn't take another day without seeing him at school. All those years of ruining his life was coming back to haunt me, what if he was really sick again? What if he was dying? And no one cares, except that Evelyn girl but she is almost absent as much as Alex and on those rare occasions when she is here I'd ask her if he was alright all she'd say is, 'Why do you care?' or 'it's none of your business!' I could see the pain in her eyes, the anger in her voice. It was the same look Anna always got when my mom used to run into her at the super market. So here I was sitting on a park bench at 8:00 at night trying to muster up the courage to knock on my old best friend's door.

You know what? I will do this! I will go in there and show Alex how much I really care, and possibly his stubborn girlfriend. I rose and walked down the well lighted street, the street Alex and I used to play waffle ball on. And I opened the picket fence gate and walked down the path. The automatic light came on and I blinked, startled, but quickly moved towards the front door. I knocked boldly, someone moved behind it. Then it opened and I looked down to see Evelyn, she looked surprised then her expression quickly turned to the angry glare she reserved for only me. Before I could at least say hello she slammed the heavy door in my face. I was too stunned to knock again, but I heard more footsteps much, much slower than what I thought was Evelyn. A quick mumble of voices, one was soft, one loud and annoyed and then a little chuckle. All was silent as I waited, they were whispering I knew it. The back door of the Conner's porch opened behind the house and Alex finally opened the door.

"Hi" I said, I was a little shocked at how bad he looked, well, not bad. He was always much better looking than I was, I meant he looked sicker. "Hi" he answered slowly. "Did you want something?" Alex asked, his eyes twinkled, I could tell he was a little pleased to see me. "Ah, I just was passing by and…" What a stupid excuse. I knew Alex would know better, he could tell when someone was lying, I think he could almost read minds. "Come in." he cut me off but I nodded. I stepped over the thresh hold and a thousand distant memories came over me, his house was the same as it had been the last time I was here. That was almost 6 years ago. "I'm sorry Evelyn slammed the door in your face." he said as he walked, his steps were awfully slow, his left hand along the wall for support. "It's alright." I answered quickly, I was ready to catch him or something if he fell, but he looked confident in getting to the brightly lit kitchen, which also looked the same as it had almost 6 years ago.

"Do you want any coffee?" he asked sociably as he pointed to the kitchen table, I sat and answered. "yeah, if it's not too much trouble." He smiled a little, "Not really, Evelyn just made me some." I smiled too, I wish I had a girlfriend that loved me as much as Evelyn loves Alex, but some people get lucky I guess. I watched him carefully, he looked just so fragile, like I could break him with one punch. "How do you take your coffee?" he seemed oblivious to the careful looks I was giving him, maybe I should prepare my own coffee. "John, I'm perfectly capable of making coffee." he said to me when he turned his back. What the hell? "Um, okay." I answered uneasily. Alex turned to me and laughed, "I kind of forgot how accurate you could be with the mind thing." I explained. "I know. Now, how do you take your coffee?" my smile broadened, I didn't realize how much I had missed Alex as my friend. "Milk and sugar, please." he nodded as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. But I again thought about his state as I saw that his hands were shaking madly, but I tried not to think about that since I knew Alex could hear, it was a little uncomfortable. I don't know how Evelyn did it day in and day out.

"Maybe you should get your mug yourself. I already broke one while Evelyn was here." he chuckled, I didn't see how that was a laughing matter to him seeing as his shaking cause things to fall which only meant that he was getting sicker. "Yeah sure." I grabbed both mugs off the counter and returned to my seat as Alex followed. "Why are you here, John?" Alex asked as he slipped both white hands around his mug and held it tightly so tight his knuckles were even whiter than they were before, I think he knew that I was fully aware of the awful trembling but who wouldn't be? "You haven't been in school." I said shortly. "Well of coarse I'm not in school. Did you look at me? I know you're perfectly aware of how bad I look." he snapped, he was being defensive, he doesn't trust me. I disserve that. "Yes, that's true." I said uncomfortably. "Why are you here? Honestly." he said tiredly. "Well, I was worried," Alex looked up from the steaming mug, the bags under his eyes looking deeper, he looked gaunt. "Worried." he repeated, I nodded quickly.

"The last time you were out of school for a long period of time you got sicker." I said in a rush. Alex just looked at me for a long, long time. "Why do you care, John?" he whispered, his voice was slightly horse. I smiled sadly at him. "I never really stopped caring, Alex, I just. I don't know." Alex's grey eyes looked searchingly into mine and I looked down into my mug, his eyes were so dull. It was a sad thing to see. "You wanted to impress your friends by making fun of the weak kid." he said finally, my throat seemed to close up and I suddenly wanted to cry. "Yes, and I can't say I'm sorry enough to make it up to you." Alex raised a hand to make me stop talking. "You already told me you were sorry." he said kindly. I looked up again, "But it's not enough." I said, "I ruined your high school and your middle school experience." Alex just smiled. "I didn't really have a middle school experience, John." I shook my head. "Why are you willing to forgive me so easily, I don't disserve it!" I said angrily. Alex's peaceful expression didn't change. "I don't know about you not disserving my forgiveness, you only human, John, it's natural to want to fit in." I looked at him. Why is he being so easy about this? "John, if you weren't sorry you wouldn't of apologized." he pointed out.

We sat in another long silence before either one of us said anything. "Alex?" "hmm?" I think I snapped him out of something. "Are you okay?" I asked seriously. "I've been better." I nodded but it wasn't enough, I had to know. "Will you be okay?" Alex passed a hand over his chalky face tiredly but then smiled a little. "I don't know, John, I just don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

**My Love Deleted Scene: Frustrated**

**I'm sorry, I'm in kind of a depressing mood today and I decided to take it all out on poor Alex's health. It's okay, you can call me a bitch. **

It was another misty Sunday afternoon. The sky was a light grey, almost the dull color of Alex's eyes. I sat at my computer, bored almost to tears. I missed my Alex, I hadn't seen him since Friday night when we played "Sorry" with my brothers, egh, don't ask. A jolting feeling in my stomach made me jump and the tight knot in my chest felt unbearable. This feeling always seemed to come when I was away from Alex for a couple of hours. I looked over at the clock, Alex should have called by now, he would be awake. I sat there for another 15 minutes until I rose from my seat. Sighing, I walked out into the small hall that I had to myself and I thundered down the stairs. Maybe I'd call Alex myself, to see if he was alright. I passed my parent's door and Carlisle's office and I thundered down the main stair case.

After a snack, two juice boxes, and a pixie stick I decided to call Alex. Nobody answered, I tried his cell, no answer. I didn't keep calling cause I didn't want to be too annoying. Without thinking I grabbed my, or Bella's, keys and was out the door. "Where are you going?" asked a startled Jasper as I burst through the kitchen door. "Over to Alex's. I'll see you sometime!" I waved pleasantly and walked on. I could feel his still startled look on my back, the family has been very impressed with my mood changes since Alex and I had started going out 6 months ago. "Tell Mum where I am!" I yelled over my shoulder.

I drove up to Alex's house, Anna's car wasn't in the driveway. Folding my arms in front of my chest I walked up to the white Pickett fence and up the walkway. I knocked on the door but when my hand hit the hard wood it sprung open. I looked at it, a little miffed, why would Anna leave the door unlocked? Looking around the neighborhood nervously, just incase any robbers wanted to corner me or rape me or something, I stepped into the house and closed the door quickly behind me. "Alex?" I called. No answer, "Hun, you here?" I called again. An awful gagging sound reached my ears, I looked up the stairs. Okay, now I was officially freaked! There was a rapist/robber in my boyfriend's house! I tiptoed franticly until I found a golf club. Only god knows why the Conner's had a golf club handy in the middle of their hallway just ready for me to hit someone with, they didn't even golf! Maybe robbers came often. I creped up the stairs feeling like Veronica Mars, the golf club in my hand, I was ready to attack. I could just see that paper headline now! " Girl, age 16, found on her boyfriend's stairs late Sunday evening brutally raped and dead." I tried not to think of that since it freaked me out even more.

When I got up there I heard the sound again and it came from the bathroom, it sounded like someone was throwing up! Maybe the robber/rapist was drunk. The door was ajar. I looked through ready to see a possibly bulimic and/or drunk robber but who I saw was my angel. Alex was on the tiled floor of the bathroom, his head hung over the toilet bowl. After he was done with this round of lurching he lay on the floor his cheek rested against the cold tile as if he had been defeated and he groaned as if he were in terrible pain. He looked a lot sicker than he'd ever let me see, when his guard was down and nobody was around he probably looked gaunt like this all the time. I couldn't take this anymore, I had to go to him. I placed the golf club against the wall and pushed on the bathroom door. "Alex?" I called softly, if he were sleeping I didn't want to wake him. "Evelyn, get out of here." his hoarse voice replied. "But-" Alex closed his eyes and a huge shutter went through him, "Go! Now. Just leave." he said sharply. I've never heard him talk to anyone like that, I'm sure he could see the shock in my eyes but he didn't even move from his position on the floor. I turned quickly and walked down the stairs slowly, my limbs were trembling and I could feel the warm tears in my eyes. I wasn't crying because of what Alex had said to me, I was crying for him. Alex has to go through all this pain and agony when he didn't deserve it, it just wasn't fair.

I reached the bottom but I sat at the very last step, I faced the door, the kitchen light illuminated off my face. After many minutes I heard the flush of the toilet and unsteady footsteps at the top of the stairs. I whipped my tears away quickly and inhaled so the crap in my nose would clear. The footsteps stopped at the top of the stairs, I could feel Alex's gaze on my back but I didn't move. Slowly, Alex climbed down; I could hear his hand sliding on the railing. He stopped just next to me, I looked up finally at his face which was sorrowful and both loving at the same time. "What are you still doing here?" he asked gently, the lines on his forehead raised up with his eyebrows. "You said get out of the bathroom, not the house." I said quietly, he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes and he sat next to me. Alex looked as if he'd hadn't slept in 2 weeks but was trying to cover it up. His face was washed, his long hair wet with probably the cold faucet water and sweat. He still held his hand tightly to the railing. He took my hand in his shaking free one and clumsily kissed my knuckles. "I'm so sorry." he said, he looked so ashamed of himself, "I didn't mean to be so sharp." I had to smile for him, his eyes searched desperately for my forgiveness and I couldn't bear to see the bleak expression on his face any longer.

"No, I shouldn't have barged in like that." He shook his head vigorously, "No, you didn't know. It's not your fault. I just get so frustrated when I go through these….black spells." he smiled halfheartedly but his grey eyes still shown dull with no emotion. I raised my hand and traced the sunken hollows under his eyes, "I was scared, actually." I confessed stupidly. " Well, that retching sound could scare anybody." he chuckled blackly. "No, I thought your house was being robbed by a bulimic or extremely drunk robber." That got Alex laughing, "It's not funny." I said shyly. "Is that why you were carrying my mother's golf club?" he teased. I nodded, embarrassed. Alex chuckled again and pulled me gently closer to him, I hugged his waist tight as though I'd never let go. Alex stroked my hair with shaking fingers and we sat there in silence until Anna came home an hour later.


	7. Chapter 7

My Love Deleted Scene: Home Alone

It was around noon time when I got really bored, my mom had to work this Saturday. Nobody was home, I was alone. Usually, I liked being alone. It gave me a sense of freedom. I could sing _The White Stripes _songsat the top my lungs, I could jump and dance all I wanted (without the embarrassment of making an ass out of myself) Not that I did jump and dance, that was more of Evelyn's thing, she'd probably jump, sing, or dance even if someone _was_ watching. That's what I love most about her, she's brave, _so_ much braver than me. I slumped back on the multicolored couch my parents bought "back in the day" before I was born. My back ached unhealthily, like I've been slouching for hours, of course, the way I was sitting now didn't really help. I grabbed the remote from the side table near my head, knocking over my mother's long abandoned coffee in the process.

My trembling has made me clumsy, I was used to it by now but it still got pretty annoying when I wasn't ignoring it. I flipped through the channels, rolling my eyes when the channel I finally decided on went out of focus and went all staticy. I could just picture my mother's face when I'd mention to her _again _that normal families had satellite. _"Money doesn't grow on trees, Alex. Besides, when have we ever been normal?" _she'd say. I knew that my mom and I didn't have that much money, my chemo treatments were definitely not making us any richer but I'd love it if I could just watch something without it going out of focus. Ah, well. I guess I'll just have to fine something else to do. I knew for a fact that Evelyn was not home, she told me yesterday night that her "sister" Alice was taking all of the Cullen ladies out shopping for the day much to her dismay. I sat up, deciding to finish some homework for English.

The phone rang just as I dropped my black bag onto the floor again. My body felt like it weighed 3,000 pounds, I didn't want to get up and get it. That just proved how lazy I really was. I dragged my feet all the way across the room to snag the phone before it rang off the hook. When I picked up I didn't realize that the voice I heard drowning on about car insurance was a computer until it told me to press the 7 button. I disconnected and sat back down on the couch. Mr. Dowlas assigned my class the two last chapters to read of our book and a paragraph on how the book helped us realize just how precious the loved ones in our lives are. I smiled to myself as I read the assignment again out of my agenda. That question would be all too easy for me, I knew how every minute counted. After my doctor announced that I wouldn't live to the age of fourteen 4 years ago (which was entirely wrong sense I am now 17) I've already learned the lesson of this book.

I jumped and was brought immediately out of my thoughts as the phone rang again, this time I wasn't so miffed. The realization that this long assignment would be easier than my teacher planned cheered me a bit. I was still smiling a little when I answered the phone. It was Anna. "Hey, babe. I'm just checking up." she said, I could hear the goings on at the Forks library in the background. "mmmhm." I mumbled. "I also wanted to tell you about the cold cuts in the fridge." I replied with the same mumble. "Did you take any pain relievers today you might need some." I sighed, "yep, I did" I said flatly, sometimes it seemed my mother could talk forever. I wasn't like that at all. Sometimes it was hard to tell we were related. "Oh, and Mrs. Thomas wants you to let in her cat tonight, it is Bingo night. You might want to feed her too." she added. I inwardly and outwardly groaned, I hated all cats, mostly Mrs. Thomas's cat. "Oh, stop being such a baby!" I rolled my eyes.

"You done, Ma?" I asked teasingly. She chuckled, "it sounds like you have everything under control." I let out a black laugh. "I'm a big boy now." I stated the obvious. "Yes, you are." I could practically hear her face getting all emotional. "Ah, Mom, don't get all teary on me!" I sighed, "I know, I'm sorry," she choked "it's just that, you're my little baby. Soon you'll be off to collage and what not and possibly getting married to Evelyn." I chuckled, my mother LOVED Evelyn, almost as much as I did. "Alright, I need to get back to work. Make sure you eat something! You are _way_ to skinny for your age." My mother was constantly reminding me of my pathetic physique, probably to annoy me so much so I'll be forced to eat just to get her to shut up. "Don't you just love chemo?" I asked sweetly. "Don't even go there." she replied darkly. I smirked, I win. "Bye, Ma." I said into the phone as I hung up. I know that was rude but, whatever.

The third time the telephone rang I was annoyed. I picked it up so quickly I almost dropped it on the table. "Hello?" I growled. "Hello, my name is Christy, and I'm apart of the Bayside Beach weight loss program!!!" the women said with pep. "May I talk to the head of the house?" she asked brightly. "No, sorry. She is currently unavailable." I replied tiredly. "Okay then, may I talk to you?" I sighed, "Um….yes?" I heard her breath heavily into the phone. "What's you name?" she asked sweetly. "Will you stalk me?" I asked seriously, you never know with all the wacko's in the world. She giggled, "That depends, are you cute?" I raised my dark eyebrows in surprise. "I'm sorry did I somehow give you the impression that you could start flirting with me?" I asked coldly. "If I did I'm very sorry but I'm taken _and_ you just interrupted my chat with the Jenny Craig people, thanks a lot!" I hung up the phone, snickering.

I sat back on the couch still laughing to myself, Evelyn would have loved that. I grabbed the heavy book again and read the first sentence. "_RING RING……"_ I looked over to the phone and raised one eyebrow angrily. "What the hell do you want?" I demanded it, it just kept ringing. I sighed heavily and walked across the room to answer. "Hello?" I asked with clenched teeth. No answer, nothing, I slammed the phone down and slumped on the couch watching the phone warily just waiting for it the ring again. After a minute of looking at the phone I went back to my book. I finished two paragraphs when it rang again. I looked up, I'm sure my usual pale face was red with annoyance. When I picked up I yelled instead of sounding like the polite and kind man I was. "WHAT???" The person on the other line gasped slightly. "Hello?" I asked a little quieter than before. "Hi, Baby. Are you okay?" It was Evelyn, my face relaxed and I smiled a little, the sound of her voice could calm anybody, especially me. "Oh, hi Honey. Yeah, I'm all right." I said as if I didn't just yell at her hysterically. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sorry." I told her about my day of not getting anything done due to the telephone. She laughed at me, "Honey, did you ever consider using your cell phone for personal calls and ignoring the other calls at home completely? "Actually, I never have." Evelyn laughed again, "remember when _you _used to be the voice of reason?" she teased. I laughed, "Those were the days."


	8. Chapter 8

HOW I LIVE NOW: DELETED SCENE.

Hi guys! It's been so, so long since I've written for Evelyn's story. If you don't care, or remember it's alright, this is more of a chapter for me. But reviews are very nice.

30 YEARS LATER

I was driving my car down a long stretch of road about a mile away from Fork's hospital. It was a sunny day so Mali had to be extra cautious. I think these last 30 years have been my happiest since Alex died, until now. Yesterday morning, I had gotten a call from a doctor at Forks Hospital. He told me that Anna had had a heart attack early in the morning on Wednesday. Mali and I were heading there from where we lived in Massachusetts now. I haven't slept all night, I could feel my eyes dropping every hour I am awake. I haven't even had time to cry. I knew she would be alright, though, she had to be. I don't know what I'd do. I should have been with her. Anna was 83 years old now. Independent as she was I always knew in the back of my head something would go wrong. 

We shouldn't be living so far away. Ugh! I could shot myself for being so stupid! I could have been there with her. She's probably so scared, all alone in the ambulance and now in the hospital. I jumped as the sound of the radio's music reached my ears. Mali looked at me apologetically. 

"Sorry, it's just so quiet. It's ringing in my ears." I nodded, keeping my eyes on the rode. I didn't want to show Mali how upset I was. Even though she was now an adult, I sometimes treated her as a child. My stomach dropped as I saw Fork's hospital and the memory of the night Alex died played in my head. I haven't been here for years. I found a spot, then put the car in park and shut off the engine. I sat there for a moment, letting all this sink in.

"You ready?" I sighed, finally looking at my adopted daughter. Mali smiled ruefully and nodded her head, her brunette curls bounced as she did so. We both got out of the car at the same time and walked the same pace to the hospital doors. I looked at Mali's face as we entered the sliding doors, I guessed that this wasn't as painful for her as it was for me. Mali always chose to stay on the bright side of things, that's one of the things I loved about her. But then I realized that she probably doesn't even remember being here with Alex at all, that she just pretends to. That made me even more depressed. 

"Excuse me," I said hoarsely to the young women behind the desk. She reminded me of the receptionist at the hospital I was currently working at, young, beautiful, and hopeful for an interning job. She looked up at me, a fake sympathetic smile plastered all over her face. 

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me which room Anna Conner is in?" She nodded politely and checked her computer. 

"Just around the corner, room 96." I didn't say thank you, I wanted to see Anna so bad that I forgot to be polite. Mali followed me like a lost puppy as I looked for the room, trying to get memories out of this place, I expect. Then I saw it, room 96. I wanted to cry as I walked into the room. A small TV was in front of Anna's face, a breathing tube was in her nose, an I.V. was jabbed into her arm. I was about to say something, but then I realized that she was sleeping. I grabbed two chairs for Mali and I. Mali set hers up on the other side of Anna's bed. I sat down and took her hand, just as I did so many years before for her son. At my cold touch she opened her eyes a crack and smiled faintly. It wasn't until she woke up that I realized how old she really looked, almost ancient.

"Hi." I said softly. She didn't say anything back, she just squeezed my hand tighter. A sort of pleading saying _get me the hell out of here. _This again reminded me of Alex. I stroked her hand soothingly. 

"There's something weird about you, Evelyn." she rasped, I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Huh? 

"Huh?" I asked, flustered by her comment. 

"Every time I see you, you seem to be younger and younger." I laughed nervously, on the verge of tears. 

"I'm not, though," I tried to smiled down at her but I couldn't so I looked away from her eyes. Her dead, gray eyes. They were the color of the sky on a cloudy day, they were the same color of Alex's eyes. Instead I focused a little above her white eyebrows, that helped me think clearly and it didn't bring on any visions. 

"Anna, I…I'm sorry," I said sadly.

"Why?" she looked confused

"I'm sorry we haven't been here to see you in a while. We shouldn't be living so far away from Forks." She squeezed my hand as hard as she could, her hands trembled.

"It's alright." I shook my head.

"It really isn't." We all sat in silence, I looked over at Mali. Anna did too. Mali had the most peculiar look on her face, like she was concentrating hard on something _or _someone was talking to her. When my father turned Mali into a vampire, we discovered very quickly what her special gift was. Mali was able to see and speak to the dead. I didn't want to disturb her so I began stroking Anna's hand soothingly. Anna's eyes began to close again and I heard her whisper faintly.

"I am glad that you are here now_." _I smiled and a tear came out of my eye, I wiped it away with my free hand. 

"Me too." I shivered, something cold passed through me and finally settled on top of the hand that was covering Anna's hand. I liked the feeling, it felt like home.

………………………………...

"Me too." I watched as Alex slowly made his way around the bed and sat next to Evelyn. On the way, he accidentally bumped against her, he seemed to go right through her and I watched as she shivered at his touch. They both had identical looks of love on their faces. Evelyn seemed to recognize the feeling that radiated off of Alex's sprit, and Alex seemed to enjoy that fact immensely. Only, I think that Evelyn thought that the feeling of love came from Anna. Alex finally settled with sitting on Anna's bed, his hand on Evelyn's. I saw that he tried to squeeze it, when it didn't work his face fell slightly and a look of longing appeared on his face. My heart seemed to break. I wanted desperately to ask Alex what he was doing here. He looked at me every few minutes, making sure that he wasn't imagining this either. 

"Mali." he called softly, testing me. I tore my eyes away from Anna's peaceful face to look at him. He looked back at Evelyn, hoping that she too could hear him. When she didn't respond his sad eyes made their way back to me. 

"I want you to be next to Evelyn when it is my mother's time to go." I looked at him blankly and though, _go? Where is she going? _He let me have a rueful smile, reading my mind. 

"Heaven." he whispered. My eyes felt hot but no tears came out. I bet my face looked on the verge of tears. _She can't die, Alex, she can't._

"She has to, Sweetheart." I shook my head but did what he said. Evi looked up at me as I moved around the bed and sat down next to her. Alex kissed Evelyn's cheek and she smiled softly at his touch, but that was all. Alex rose from his seat on the bed, it was then that I realized that Evelyn was right about him being tall. I thought that she was just exaggerating because she was so short. The truth was that I don't really remember Alex as much as I want to. He came into my life as quickly as he left, though he played an important roll I found that I sometimes forgot what his face looked like. 

"It's time now." he said softly, mostly to himself. I put my arm around Evelyn's shoulders, bracing myself. I felt bad that I couldn't warn her. 

"Ma." Alex said, smiling down at her, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. 

"Ma." he repeated, a little louder. I watched Anna's face closely, wondering what was going to happen. Evelyn was oblivious. As Anna opened her eyes I saw another man appear next to Alex. He was comically shorter than him, his hair gray, and he looked a little happier than Alex. I supposed that this man was Alex's father. Anna's eyes widened, she looked incredulous, like she thought she was going crazy. I think she forgot that Evelyn and I were even in the room.

"Frank. Alex." she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears, I smiled but Evelyn looked concerned. Evelyn looked at Anna anxiously, probably wondering if she should call the doctor.

"I missed you so much, Anna," Frank said softly leaning down to kiss her on the lips softly, it was then did I see that resemblance between Alex and Frank. Frank probably loved Anna as much as Alex loved Evelyn and that was saying something. 

"It's time to go now, Ma." Alex said.

"Okay." Anna rasped.

"Okay."

_**I'm seriously thinking about writing a part two to this sad fest. How does that sound?**_


	9. Chapter 9

**HOW I LIVE NOW….(PART TWO)**

EVELYN

"Evelyn…Mali" Anna whispered softly, I let her have a soft smile.

"Don't be scared, Dears." She touched each of our faces lovingly. Mali closed her eyes at her warm touch.

"Anna…." I said, almost pleadingly. "Don't start with the goodbyes, please." I whispered. I couldn't lose her, she was like a mother to me for god sakes! She was also the only connection I had to my Alex.

"I'm dying, Evi." She whispered. I looked down at my lap and finally nodded.

"My will is in my bedroom. I think it's in the closet, buried with some cook books." Her voice got weaker and weaker as she said this.

"Anna…You don't-" I started, Anna held up her hand.

"I wasn't finished." He voice was almost gone.

"Sorry." I said.

"It shouldn't be _very_ hard to find, but if you don't, it doesn't really matter because I've left you everything." she said, I almost laughed at her bluntness. I raised my eyebrows, out of all the people Anna knows, she chose Mali and I to have her belongings.

"What?" Anna patted my hand and said,

"I won't ask you to not be sad, though. Because I know how hard it is to be told that." she was looking toward the other side of the bed as she said this. I thought of Alex again. I heard a giggle from behind me, but took no notice.

"You are everything I wanted in a daughter." She said lovingly, I just looked at her. She was so in control of the situation, almost happy. I just nodded dumbly.

"And you are everything I wanted in a granddaughter, Mali." Mali said something but I didn't catch it. The last few minutes of Anna's life, I didn't say anything, neither did she. Anna's eyes slowly looked mine and Mali's faces over until her body was drained of life. She took one last intake of breath, closing her eyes and then seemed to hold it never exhaling.

I was numb all over. I didn't feel like crying, I would save that for later for when Mali wasn't around, I had to stay strong for her. I was just in disbelieve. Anna was gone from this world forever. A part of me always thought of her as indestructible even as her husband died and as she later watched her son die she always stayed strong. I have always admired Anna and when I adopted Mali I made sure that I would not only be like my own mother and grandmother but like Anna as well. I sat in that stiff hospital chair paralyzed, in shock, and continued stroking Anna's pulse less hand.

"Why don't you go get the car." I said to Mali flatly. She nodded, looking calmer than I expected. She rose and left the room swiftly, I didn't look back at her as the door slammed. Again, the cold spread over me and I felt peaceful.

MALI

I left the room quickly, to escape. This was the first time I had witnessed a soul pass on to Heaven and I felt a little jumpy. Though, I didn't let this all show on my face, for Evelyn's sake. I turned back to look through the window of Anna's room and I saw too people sitting on the left side of the bed. Alex was stroking Evelyn's hair faintly and whispering soothing words into her ear and I realized why Evelyn

wasn't falling apart like I'd expected.

The next few days were hard on Evi, I could tell that much but she still hadn't cried yet. I looked for Alex after I'd seen him in the hospital the night his mother died. He wasn't here anymore. I sat down across from Evi at the dusty kitchen table of the Cullen family mansion in Forks, disappointed, and watched as she worked through all of the bills and funeral arrangements. There was so much I wanted to say to him, so much I wanted to ask him. I hadn't even bothered to look for Anna, she was probably with Frank somewhere in Heaven, I hoped. But, Alex was different, his love was still here on Earth.

Anna's funeral was on a Tuesday morning. The clouds were predictably cloudy and gray. A slight drizzle covered the small crowed of people around Anna's casket. Evelyn had decided to bury Anna right next to Frank and Alex. If I could cry I would.

MALI

I finally convinced Evelyn to come clean out the Conner's house. It was a bright Sunday morning five days after Anna's funeral. Evelyn stepped through the door warily. She looked around the house like a deer blinded by headlights. I think she was afraid of painful visions of her memories here. I wondered what those memories may be, but I didn't ask her. I grabbed Evi's hand as we entered further into the house. It looked as if Anna had never left. Her mail was on the table near the door, the last remains of a half eaten breakfast was on the counter. I watched Evelyn carefully. Evelyn let go of my cold hand and walked into the living room. As Evi moved across the carpet, I heard someone humming pleasantly. If my heart were still beating it would have stopped. I followed Evelyn into the room quickly. Then I smiled at the person sitting in an armchair next to the couch.

"Well, I thought you too would never come!" Alex said teasingly.

"Alex!…" I said aloud. Evelyn turned to me, her face was very pale, her breath caught. "'s house…." I finished lamely. Alex chuckled, still sitting in his favorite chair.

"Yes, Honey. We're at Alex's house." Evelyn said this slowly, as if I had forgotten where we were and what we were doing there.

"Yeah" I said. She tried to smile.

"You won't tell her I am here." this wasn't a question. I looked into his sad eyes and shook my head when Evelyn turned her head back. I also turned my back on him, feeling disgusted with myself and asked Evelyn what she was looking at.

"The fish!" she said, looking on to Anna's many colorful fish in a bowl near the window.

"What about them?"

"They aren't dead from starvation yet."

"Positive thinking, Ev." I teased. She turned to me, her long bronze hair fell into her face.

"Anna died a week ago. These fish haven't been taken care of." I heard Alex laugh again and I turned to him casually, like I was admiring the view from the window.

"I take care of them." he said. I raised my eyebrows. Can sprits do that? I've never heard of them picking up objects.

"I can." Alex said simply. I nodded, frowning.

"That's odd." I said, turning back to Evelyn as if Alex hadn't said anything at all. Evelyn picked up the fish food in the little plastic container and sprinkled it's contents in the fish bowl. They ignored the food and swam around it.

"I've already fed them today."

"Maybe they're not that hungry." I tried, Evelyn shook her head in confusion and walked out of the room.

"Nice save." Alex teased. I looked at him and I walked over to the couch next to his armchair and sat down, taking off my coat.

"You won't tell her I'm here." he said again. The faint worry lines that I still remember to this day on Alex when he was Alive appeared on to his face now.

"I can't, Alex." I said, I hoped he could understand.

"why not?" he asked softly.

"Imagine how that would make her feel, knowing that you are here on Earth, always with her, always talking to her, but she can't hear you or touch you. Imagine the amount of pain that would be for her" Alex closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"She needs me, Mali." he was pleading now.

"She has me." I said softly. He opened his eyes, a gentle smile playing softly on his lips.

"That's right, she has you……but I really think you should tell her." he tried hopefully. I shook my head at him, a smile now playing on _my _lips.

"No dice." We sat in silence for quite a while, listening to Evelyn clean up the kitchen.

"If you can pick things up, why didn't you clean the house while you were here?"

"I hate chores." he said, not looking at me. His thoughts were a million miles away, I felt like a little child again, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"That makes sense."

"I'm not perfect," he admitted, "no sprit is, after all." He smiled at me, affection in his gray eyes.

"That's true."

"Alex…?" I asked

"Yes?" He sighed.

"What aren't you in Heaven?" This made him chuckle.

"I am in Heaven, Dear." My eyes widened and I looked around.

"This…your house…is your heaven?" he nodded.

"Heaven can be anything I want it to be….and this…," he looked around the room and his smiled broadened. "…this is my _home." _

"Every time I was in the hospital, I longed to be home, I suppose everybody does…I mean…it is a hospital. But, this is where I always felt safe, no matter how bad things got. My safe heaven." I remembered that feeling when Evelyn used to take me out away from my mother, I still do feel that way when I look at her sometimes, even after all these years.

"I sometimes change Heavens, though." He said softly. I looked at him, my chain of though breaking.

"Change heavens?" He nodded. 

"My other heaven is in Evelyn." He gave no explanation for this, but I didn't ask for one even though I did wonder why I've never seem him until now.

**Part 3 should be coming out shortly. The comments were awesome. I do love comments……**


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